We talked in part 1 about how a mother can feel overwhelmed and even at times somewhat depressed with the coming of Ramadan. Not because she doesn’t love it as much as any other Muslim does but because she feels she will have a hard time coping and will fall behind where she should be.
In this article, I would like to focus on what should our goals be, what we should really be aiming for and how our attitude towards these goals can make a huge difference in how we are able to benefit during this blessed month, in shaa allah.
The Prophet (salallaho alayhi wasalaam) said: This month of yours (Ramadan) is unlike the other months. Surely, when it approaches you, it does so with blessings and mercy and when it turns away from you, it does so with forgiveness of sins. This is a month in which good deeds are multiplied and of goodness accepted. [Wasail al-Shia’h, vol. 10, pg. 312]
When thinking of our goals in Ramadan and what we should aim for, many of us, if not most, will start thinking of things along these lines:
Finish reading the Quran ??? amount of times
Praying ??? amount of Sunnan
Saying ??? amount of zikr
While these goals and others similar are fantastic in their essence, there are three main issues with us setting our goals this way.
We are Following what Works for Others
Most of the time, we are just replicating what others around us are doing or what we have been told we have to be doing. The major issue with this is that each of us is on their own individual journey and no two of us are the same. For example, someone enters Ramadan and they previously have hardly been able to keep up with the 5 daily prayers. For them to just go through set amounts of worship that is much more than they are used to, will probably leave them both exhausted spiritually and wanting to rebel later on, or simply giving up from the go start.
We Keep Doing Things The Same and Expecting Different Results
They say the definition of madness is repeating something the exact same way time and time again expecting a different result. I would venture to say that most of us do this when it comes to Ramadan. We go through each Ramadan the same way focusing on the quantity of the things we must do and as soon as Ramadan finishes we drop everything. We go back to the same we were before Ramadan or maybe even worse and then repeat the following year. And this pattern can sadly last decades. Obviously, something is not working. We are not achieving the goal we should be from Ramadan. If we were, we would be getting spiritually higher as each year goes by.
We Lose Sight of The True Purpose
Think about what the purpose of Ramadan is. If you read the verses from the Quran you will find the goal is to attain taqwa “piety and righteousness”
“O you who have believed, decreed upon you is fasting as it was decreed upon those before you that you may become righteous” [Surat Al-Baqarah, 183]
And how do we do this? By mindlessly reading verses upon verses of the Quran? By praying and praying without our hearts moving an inch? By fasting in the day and letting our eyes fornicate at night? This is the breaking point of Ramadan. This is where even if you’re super busy you can still immensely benefit from Ramadan or, on the other hand, even if you go through heaps of worship with hardly any benefit.
So how do we benefit? How do we change our hearts for a lifetime to come? In shaa allah, we will endeavour to answer these questions in Part 3 of the series.
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About the Author
Halah is the founder of The Hearts of Light and mother to three beautiful children, masha allah. When she is not mothering or making beautifully inspirational creations, she enjoys writing to inspire sisters. Please make dua for the health of sister Halah and her family.
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