My life has ended, she says. Many mums, especially those with young kids feel that way. They feel that their dreams, ambitions, goals have literally come to an end as they trudge into their new life as a mother. Their existence is now solely about their children. Their lives revolve around their children’s needs feeding, clothing and education. While mothers feel immense happiness taking care of their children they can also end up feeling worn out, stressed, empty inside and basically quite depressed.
Even though it may truly seem that you have no time left for yourself, especially if you’re a stay at home mum, I am writing this to tell you that you definitely can live your life while doing the very important and busy job of bringing up your kids. Life as a mother does not begin and end with your children, children are a joyous and fulfilling part of your life. They are not all that your life is or will ever be.
It is important for us as mothers to take time to nurture ourselves and evaluate our personal goals. In doing so, we find that they encompass religious and spiritual goals, health goals, educational goals, and work and career goals. All of which are important in helping embracing our life as a mother and not feeling overburdened, lost or bitter.
In this article we will discuss some general points on how to stay focused and remain on track for meeting goals and not giving up, in shaa Allah. You may find these to be difficult at times and easier at others, pateince and persistence will help you carry on and you will find much satisfaction when you are able to accomplish what you have set out to do.
Follow these tips and embrace your life as a mother and find, love and feel great about yourself. Masha Allah!
Be Flexible. When your life changes in unexpected ways you have to adopt a big amount of flexibility if you want to achieve happiness and satisfaction in your life. If you are too rigid in your thinking you will not be able to see beyond the way things should be. Instead you should be figuring out how to work with the circumstances you are in and adapt your plans accordingly.
Never underestimate. Small deeds that are continuous even if they only takes a few minutes a day after weeks and months will turn into big accomplishments. Using your time wisely and never underestimating the little time you have will enable you to achieve big things in the long run.
Eliminate useless time wasters. After a long busy day with work or children a lot of people at the end will just sit in front of a screen to wind down. They will commonly express the reason for doing so is that they just want to relax and don’t want to think anymore. Well that is exactly what happens. Many people in their 50s and 60s look back at their lives and wonder where the time went and why they didn’t achieve their passions in live. Years went in working and raising children and they can’t remember doing something they really wanted for themselves. Mind numbing screen time is a major contribution to this. Most people will spend at least 2-3 hours a day watching useless TV/playing computer games…etc that will have no positive contribution in their lives whatsoever. Imagine what you could do if you invested even half that time?
Learn more about how to make the most of your time by reading this article.
Make a Plan. There is an old cliché which I like; if you don’t plan you are planning to fail. Make a plan even if it’s going to take you years to finish. Having a plan will help you to keep on going and feeling satisfied with the small progress you make on a daily basis.
Trust in Allah. Before having children you may have had your life all planned out to a ‘T’ only to find that afterwards things completely changed. To be able to move forward with positivity and hope you really need to trust that Allah’s plan for you is the best. He is the best of planners and right now in this moment you are doing what you are meant to be doing. His choice for you is better than anything you could have chosen for yourself. I know this as a fact for myself as well. My life changed 100% after having children and I have literally had to re-invent myself all over again. Even though at times I was pretty depressed about it. I realize now that Allah truly chose the best for me. And I am much happier and more satisfied than I could have ever been with my own plan for myself.
Start today. Make it a point to work through the tips above and in shaa Allah, we will delve into practical ideas and tips you can implement in each area in the next article. Always remember that with Allah all things are possible, subhan Allah! With that in mind, is there anything on this earth that can stop you from realizing your dreams? Certainly not. So praise Allah and strive to be the best you can be for this life and the next.
Have you learned anything on your personal journey to accomplishing your goals? Do you have any tips or advice to share with other sisters that may make help them overcome their difficulties? Comment below, we would love to hear from you in shaa Allah.
About the Author
Halah is the founder of The Hearts of Light and mother to three beautiful children, masha allah. When she is not mothering or making beautifully inspirational creations, she enjoys writing to inspire sisters. Please make dua for the health of sister Halah and her family.